The below post was one of the first things that I posted on www.blasmanueldeluna.com. I had started that website to pimp my book, but the thought of doing that made me sad, so I instead decided to make fun of myself. I'm great at that.
The book's out there, and it's starting to get some heat. Writers, really famous ones, have things to say.
This book made me want to drink battery acid and sleep with whores.
—Charles Bukowski
This is just to say
that this book really sucked.
—William Carlos Williams
The book doesn't contain multitudes,
but it didn't kill me.
—Walt Whitman
Thirteen Ways of Looking at Blas Manuel De Luna
I
He sucks.
II
Really sucks.
III
We’re talking world-class levels of suckiness.
IV
It must hurt to suck that much.
V
I mean, really, it’s embarrassing how much he sucks.
VI
Embarrassing for him.
VII
Embarrassing for me.
VIII
Embarrassing for poetry.
IX
Probably embarrassing for the world, in general.
X
I’m sure the universe isn’t too happy, either.
XI
Do you think he knows?
XII
Should somebody tell him?
XIII
No, not me. Somebody else.
—Wallace Stevens
Bleak? I can out-bleak this guy with one traumatic event tied behind my back.
—Sylvia Plath
The bitch can't write.
—William Shakespeare
This book made me want to drink battery acid and sleep with whores.
—Emily Dickinson
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